games n stuff

*a tornado hits your neiberhood & does $10,000 worth of improvments.

*your porch colapses & 4 dogs die

*you can remember the NASCAR schedule but not the names of your kids

*the kids are going hungry tonite cause you just had to have the Yosemite Sam mud flaps

*when you start your truck,local air quality plumets

*you've ever bet on gator wrestling

*you’ve ever come home and found crime scene tape across your front porch.

*your child’s first words were, “Attention K-Mart shoppers!”.

*your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin’.

* you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

* your dog has ever brought home something that you cooked for dinner.

*your kids’ favorite bedtime story is “Curious George and the High Voltage Fence.”

MANY MORE TO COME

A golfer comes into the club house after a bad round. The pro says,
"It looks like it was a pretty rough day."
The golfer replays, "You bet it was. The best two balls I hit all day was
when I was coming out of the sand trap and stepped on the rake!!"                                                                                                                           more jokes down

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."

 your yard looks like a Toys R Us after a tornado.

on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.

your kids trip over the Christmas lights while hunting for Easter eggs.